hey bitch, I’m here to party
Getting this text from my best friend at 8pm on a Saturday night, having just about recovered from the night before, woken up from a nap and ordered an obscene amount of Indian food to be deliverooed, I was feeling a little unsure whether I was in fact, quite “ready to party.” But, this being the summer of yes. I rallied, peeled my PJ’s off, threw on my gold silk shirt and some eyeliner and hustled my way into town.
Walking into town to London Fields it really felt like a perfect summer night. People were spilling out onto the streets from bars, pubs, and the sun was setting over a long few hours. Listening to my BANGING summer playlist, walking along to the beat, I felt like I was in a goddamn movie musical thank you very much.
In the movie version of this night, this is how it would go down. I’d arrive at the bar, we would do shots and in a montage sequence getting progressively more waved, we’d be hit on by some sex beasts with wavy hair that curls just round their ears, who’d insist on paying for all our of obscene cocktails, twirl us around the bar and not complain when we insist on making them take 100 candids of us drinking/ laughing/ being just generally effortlessly chic. Finally, we’d be bought a box of 10 nuggets and then I’d part ways with Scarlett and we’d each be taken back to our fine hunks respective shag pads and reconvene sometime the next morning to unpack every minute detail of the evening.
The reality, well, was a little different.
I got to London Fields, my girl was already drunk thanks to a garden party, and starving. Now onto my best friend, if anyone is an actual siren walking around on this green earth with a secret mermaid tail, it’s Scarlett. Walking through a crowd with her once, a man honest to god muttered ”that girl is a weapon” – and truly, he’s not wrong. She’s sunshine and warmth and SO DAMN SULTRY. She’s also a cretin, obviously, but not tonight. We did a little once round the block to “assess the vibe” i.e. scout out any potential, then decided we really needed some sustenance aka chips.
In the movie version of this night we’d be bought a box of 10 nuggets and then be taken back to our fine hunks respective shag pads and reconvene sometime the next morning to unpack every minute detail of the evening.
Beelined our way to a restaurant and decided the sexy men folk could wait a few till we’d satisfied our other needs first. Mare Street Market is pretty beautiful as far as dinner places go. Give me some low lighting, candles and overpriced cocktails and I’m there. The waiter (moustache, plaid shirt, kind eyes) Scarlett was low key drooling over, but I insisted once she’d eaten chips she would DESIST with her rose tinted glasses. We’ve been in lockdown guys. “On heat” is potentially the state of mind we were in here. We also spent the majority of the meal obsessing over each other’s outfits, weeping over each other’s stunning faces and sparkling personalities and saying how BLESSED we were to be local friends that could spontaneously hang out now.
Post chips. We were feeling satiated, and ready for the BAR. Heading up to the rooftop, it felt more like a kind of teen party in the park, everyone sat on the floor, pizza boxes spread, already far too drunk, little cliques of boys and girls who were staunchly sticking to their household bubbles. We did a little walk round, a lap, if you will to scope out the potential, where were the sex beasts who were going to buy us drinks all evening?? We spied a pretty good looking bunch a’ fellas plus a girl (who we guessed was a friend or a lone girlfriend) and they all turned to look at us as one, sensing our eyes on them. It was animalistic, safari worthy. We hovered, assessing if we’d move to sit by them, but out of the game, we lost our nerve, and sat a row or so behind the group, making contact tricky, at best…
But in 2021, we’re sexy and socially awkward baby
They kept turning around to look at us and Scarlett being the siren she is, smiled, an opening! Maybe enough of an opening in the 1990s, but in 2021 we’re sexy and socially awkward baby. The gang o’ boys, sensing their one female friend probably needed to be taken home, got up and left. And a series of very underwhelming boys attempted to make contact, E-T PHONE HOME, whilst we were sat in the fake, fake grass, picking our way through the empty glasses. The night drew to a close and I ended up in someone else's bed…. Scarlett’s, inevitably and in an (offensively) platonic way. Midway through the meal we had confessed our undying love to each other, a bit like this scene from Booksmart so I guess this was kinda like a movie version of the night, but maybe we were just expecting the wrong kinda movie?