wow, that’s deep
No, alas this is not a smutty story but more about the problem, nay the CRISIS we find ourselves in, on keeping things light on the first date. That’s always what they say right? Keep it fun, flirty n dirty. It should feel like a wild fairground ride, that you’re swept up in and not one where you come tumbling back down to earth feeling sick after eating too much cotton candy and going on the teacup ride too many times. And, for sure there’s nothing like the natural high of a good first date. You can feel exhilarated, almost superhuman. Getting high off other human beings. But, I can’t ever reach that, well * ahem * climactic point if we’re talking about well, superficial s•••.
A guy I was seeing recently – blue eyes, perfect peen, no personality – would respond “wow that’s deep” anytime I brought up anything vaguely rousing or some kind of philosophical/ social/ political debate. But, to me if we’re not talking about your future dreams / weird ass relationship with your mother and how you’ve NEVER got over the fact that your goldfish Parsley died because you overfed it, then WHAT are we even doing here?!?I think at the time, I put his response down to shyness (?) or that maybe he just didn’t feel like he knew enough to contribute, but maybe it was also that he’s used to keeping things ca-su-al and surface on dates.
if we’re not talking about your future dreams / weird ass relationship with your mother and how you’ve NEVER got over the fact that your goldfish Parsley died because you overfed it, then WHAT are we even doing here?!?I
At parties, I suffer from the same affliction. Hanging out in the smoking area usually ends in my giving an inspirational(ish) Ted Talk on telling Samanta to follow their dreams and become a tree cutter in Canada or holding a random boy called Toby’s hand, who I feel a REAL connection to and saying “I would be so happy to read your manuscript!!”. I’m less the ‘where you from’ ‘what do you do’ ‘what’s the weather like up there’ kinda conversationalist.
A friend of mine, Scarlett, (you met her last week) was on a date recently, dinner at hers with a sexy Ashton Kutcher look alike. After some flirty, nervous energy exchanges when he first arrived, he spied the card game “We’re not really strangers” gleaming in its red little box and asked if they could play. Essentially, it’s a series of questions which lets you get real deep, real quick whether asking a series of questions which progressively get more and more involved. Basically, you really get to know someone. Buut, doesn’t it seem kinda strange that we have to resort to a card game in order to have a meaningful conversation? That it has to be gamified. “We’re only getting deep because of the card game! Otherwise I would be happy for you to just talk about what you do for work! And bitch about your housemates!!”. It gives us the perfect excuse.
doesn’t it seem kinda strange that we have to resort to a card game in order to have a meaningful conversation?
Post PANNY-D, now that everything is OPENING UP again, (just in case you haven’t heard that phrase about 10,000 times and had it tattooed to your forehead) we’re all going to be over excited puppies or anxious socialisers who’ve kind of forgotten how to do it. There’s been many a meme created which attests to this fact. I hope that people become bigger CONVERSATIONALIST RISK TAKERS and card game PLAYAS even without the game. Yes, I went there. If life is like a game of UNO, I hope everyone pulls out their wild cards, sets fire to their +2 and +4 and doesn’t try to skate over the actual nitty gritty aspects of a human being, because that is the magic. Finding out someone’s favourite colour doesn’t tell you who they are and what gets them out of bed (or into yours) in the morning, so go big or go home hunnies. I intend to.