what your first date location says about you
A first date tells you a lot about someone. What they wear. Where you go. How they smell. (Just me?? ok). We thought we’d give you a run down of first date locations and what the hell your choice says about you:
Coffee shop
You’re literate, we get it.
Cocktail bar (All bar one)
Is loving a happy hour such a crime?! Yes, you do tend to go for the cocktails which will inevitably mean you’ll require a filling in 1-2 years time, but that’s what living it up as a young HOOMAN is all about? Regrets? Or, not having regrets? Something like that anyway.
Local park
So, you haven’t quite let go of covid restrictions yet. You’re a little bit comforted by the idea of being sat in the rain (did someone say The Notebook) and with the option to RUN if they turn out to be a weirdo.
Rooftop bar
You work in PR but tell people that you work in “storytelling” because is there any more epic story than that of the Love Island cast, fame and fortune?! It’s Shakespearian in proportions.
Cinema
You can’t really remember how to socially interact so have picked the date location which will require the least amount of talking.
Dinner at yours
You’re literally just here to bang. Do you actually need to talk at all? Or can you just skip all of that, and open the door (semi?!)-naked.
Cocktail bar (niche, South American)
You’re doing this 100% for the aesthetic and honestly are trying really hard not to bring up the fact you did a year abroad in Buenos Aires, but once it hits midnight and the tequila is fully in your veins, you start telling everyone that they’re mispronouncing everything and regailing the barman with your Argentinian adventure.
Bike ride
You like to exercise rather than express human emotion, so think that going for a bike ride is a nice technique of avoiding any unnecessary conversation or human interaction.
Sunday family roast
Are you ok hun??
A run
You might actually be a serial killer. The jury is still out.
Gallery
You want to impress your date and have done an extensive course in Instagram/ googling/ Guardian article reading the morning of to have some fre$h opinions on this inevitably very, very shit modern art.
Netflix and chill
Again, here for a good time, not a long time. Close your door on the way out.
Comedy gig
You were a part of the comedy troop at uni and still haven’t quite gotten over the fact that snivelly simon with the side parting has a WRITING JOB AT THE BBC. So like to go to clubs like this so you can relive your comedic youth.
Theatre
You’re cultured okay??! Normally you only see niche alternative theatrical groups called things like SKINT and FLICKMYNIPS but tonight they only had tickets left for Six! So guess it’ll have to be a musical that might be so good you’ll cry into your mask.
Zoo
You either really want kids, or might maybe still be one?!
Air BNB
Your flat is sooo crusty you’ve had to rent this bnb for 4 hours just so your date doesn’t think you’re an actual cretin.
Video chat
You’re pretty keen on these eyebrow/ eyelash filters and can’t actually remember what your face looks like without it now.
Party
You’re chill. Yeah, you don’t mind having a date with all your friends in view. It’s chill, I’m chill, we’re chill.
Abandoned warehouse
Living out your emo dreams, you’ve decided to really lean into the fact they’re a photographer and take some #edgy pics admiring the cobwebs and the creepy abandoned beds.
Wedding
You always get emotional at these things. I know it’s just a way to have beneficial taxation deals, but GODDAMMIT nothing makes you cry like someone walking down that aisle. Your ex,is well your ex and you had to drag the nearest available, tall-ish man you could find from Hinge so you wouldn’t be pestered about “finding someone” by well meaning elderly ladies.
McDonalds
You chose this place ironically, but now they’re into it and you think you might actually be in love.
Illegal rave
You were invited onto this guy’s cousin’s boat, and didn’t really think you’d end up at a rave, but…. Shit happens?!